“On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.” – Fight Club In an hour-and-a-half Tony Jaa movie, the survival rate for everyone also drops to zero. Punches, kicks, spinning backfists and mid-air elbow strikes. A down roundhouse kick, sideways foot thrust, double elbow to head chop, and flying knee bomb. If you’re a bad dude in a Tony Jaa movie, so long sucka! And so we begin Tony Jaa Fest. Not a one-off or an impulsive “fanboy” display of affection. This is the first of what we hope to be many. It’s our way of celebrating our favorite martial arts superstar, a man who has made far too few films, yet inspired us through his sheer audacity and bewildering display of badassery. Jaa Panom, or as we know him -- Tony Jaa -- was born February 5th, 1976 in a rural area of the Surin Province of Thailand. Practicing in his father’s rice paddy at a young age, Jaa would mimic his favorite martial artists, including: Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet Li. He would also fashion his technique by somersaulting off the top of his family’s elephants. Later in Ong Bak 2, he would actually run on top of a stampeding herd. In Tom-Yum Goong or The Protector, he would develop his own style of Muy Thai to imitate elephants. Jaa’s first hit film was 2003’s Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior, premiering as the closing night film of the Bangkok International Film Festival. It went on to be an international martial arts classic with the New York Daily News claiming, “It’s not so often that you witness the creation of a star, so grab the chance now”. We want you to know Tony Jaa. If you do know him, I’m quite sure you’ll join us in his celebration. If you do not know him, we’d love to give you a proper introduction. Unfortunately, Tony Jaa, at the young age of 35, has retired from filmmaking. After a rough production on Ong Bak 2 (which was split into two parts), shaping Ong Bak 3 and sickened by the Hollywood methods of control, he rode an Elephant to a monastery, and gave up his career to be a Buddhist Monk. But, we want him back. So we ask you to join us in our jubilation, a triumph for the powerful, a ceremony for the man who has always protected the weak. Let him be unleashed again, fighting his way up 14 flights of stairs, beating the piss out of dirty scum bad guys who abuse their elephants. Let him soar through the mean streets of martial arts movies again, with his spinning heel kicks and straight knee strikes, pummeling the masses with reverse foot thrusts and evasive body redirection. We want you back Tony Jaa, and if we can’t have that, well… we’ll just throw a party in your name, instead. All 3 Ong Bak movies will be screened for free, outdoors, with martial arts demos all day long. -- Josh Goldbloom